THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MONEY

Money is undeniably part of our daily lives. We earn it, spend it, save it and invest it and sometimes accumulate debt. But beyond the numbers we add to or subtract from our bank accounts, money is also a deeply psychological issue that influences our choices, our relationships and even our mental health. In fact, when it comes to our personal finances, emotions related to them often tend to surface. Whether positive (pride or peace of mind from knowing we’re financially secure) or negative (shame, fear, stress, guilt or greed), these emotions can, in turn, affect our overall financial situation. But despite the significant impact money has, it’s still difficult to openly talk about finances, debt and income in our society. Why is this topic so taboo when it permeates almost every aspect of our reality?

RICH IN EMOTIONS

At first glance, money seems like something of concrete value guided by logic—just a series of fluctuating numbers. But this limited view doesn’t account for its subjective value—the value we assign to it, often subconsciously, based on our perceptions, culture, dreams or life experiences. In fact, our relationship with money is shaped from a young age. It’s first influenced by our environment, family situation and other circumstances under which we are brought up. What this relationship is like depends on whether money was a source of stress or security during our childhood. Our early experiences with money leave a lasting mark and continue to affect us decades later. A need to save can be anxiety-inducing if we grew up in financial precarity, whereas a need to spend without any limitations may indicate an attempt to fill an emotional void.

It can be difficult to feel at ease with one’s financial situation when it doesn’t meet societal expectations of professional success, financial independence and the acquisition—or even accumulation—of material goods. Money can become a source of embarrassment, shame or anxiety when we feel that our income, expenses or debts prevent us from acquiring certain symbols of social success, such as property, cars, designer clothes, stylish furniture or plane tickets to a sunny destination. Social media, which only shows a polished version of reality, can exacerbate these feelings; when we scroll through images that display the success of others, it’s easy to compare ourselves. Various negative emotions—such as shame for not measuring up, guilt for not doing enough, jealousy that stirs greed or a sense of inferiority when we assign more value to someone who has greater wealth—can impact both our relationship with money and our financial reality. We might even feel compelled to spend beyond our means simply to keep up appearances.

LOVE AND MONEY

“When you love, you don’t count,” the saying goes. But when it comes to money, love is not exempt from emotions—quite the opposite. Each partner is influenced by their own values, beliefs, personal history, upbringing, social background and habits. Within a couple, financial priorities—when it comes to things like saving, spending, investing and joint projects—can diverge or even be radically opposed. If partners don’t manage money in the same way or don’t place the same importance on it, it can quickly become a source of discomfort, tension or even conflict, straining the relationship. When one partner earns more than the other, things can also become complicated. The person earning less may feel embarrassed, ashamed, dependent or vulnerable, while the other may feel frustrated if they’re contributing more to joint expenses. The resulting tension can help explain why many households still hesitate to discuss money openly.

FINANCIAL TRANSPARENCY

Avoiding the subject is not a viable solution and can, in fact, directly impact financial security. Understanding the emotions that guide our relationship with money can help us make more rational decisions that will benefit our financial health. Transparency remains the best solution: Having open, honest and judgment-free discussions allows us to better understand behaviour and expectations and is the best way to learn about and better manage our personal finances. In this regard, a third party (such as a financial planner, a financial adviser, a notary, an HR specialist or a financial therapist) can help immensely by offering unbiased insight and advice. The most important things are to not be afraid to start the conversation and to free ourselves from our emotions.

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2025-05-01T11:16:49Z